For years, HOTDAM whined about being unable to summit the mountaintop and obtain their elusive third TRF Wiffle Championship. But like with fans of the Red Sox in 2005 and Cubs in 2017, last year's big win did not bring forth a bout of honored humility. As those fan bases have consistently shown us, whining and drawing attention to oneself is genetic. Therefore, HOTDAM’s 2018 motto is, “YEEEEEEEEAH! KISS THE RINGS OF YOUR THREE-TIME TRF CHAMPS!” The championship lifestyle has proven to be more than we ever could have hoped. In addition to the incessant humble bragging to associates, (with the common refrain being, “wait, you’re excited because you won an obscure tournament in Vermont?”), we have gloried in the radio silence from Sullivan, French, and Long, among others. Winning truly is blissful.
Alas, like all championship teams, Pat Riley’s “Disease of More” is possibly going to hurt our squad’s chances of repeating. Tucker “Hollywood” Kohlasch, fresh off a tournament MVP, has demanded a pay raise and paid transportation to and from the field. Rising star Jakob Cloney wants the spotlight to shine more on him and has been openly grumbling about being overshadowed by the likes of Robby Meslin. And Kyle Greiner just wants everybody to stop talking about that dropped popup that almost cost us the championship. Alas, we come back begrudgingly united and pockets (hopefully) full of donations, ready to defend the mountaintop. Because quite frankly, keep kissing ‘dem rings, boys and girls.